Coach Dad Blog

Twins Book: A Review

2008-12-01T07:18:00.000-08:00

UC Irvine academic pediatrician Dr. Khanh-Van Le-Bucklin has written a new book, "Twins 101: 50 Must-Have Tips for Pregnancy through Early Childhood," in which she gives herself another title: "Doctor M.O.M." She knows of what she speaks. She, too, has joined the millions of American families who have multiples.

The book is an easy read, with wonderful tips for moms, a good dose of wit, helpful boxes of information ("Twin Facts," "Twin Hints"), and a lot of self-assurance. As the father of twins myself – they are now 11 – I remember clearly the importance of positive thought as my wife went through pregnancy. The good doctor is on point in reminding mothers-to-be to be strong.

The one fault of this book, as many like it, is the near absence in reporting the vital role of husband-father (Tip #49 covers it somewhat, but not fully). Dad is crucial to the beginning of life, as well as to the upbringing. He not only requires a chapter dedicated to what he brings, he deserves it.

"Twins 101" is published by Jossey-Bass, $16.95.

The OC and IE Fires

2008-11-18T08:07:00.001-08:00

It is hard to comprehend the numbers of homes that have burned in Orange County, the Inland Empire and elsewhere over the past few days. How do you put into perspective what those numbers mean? You ask mom. "Every place, no matter its price, is someone's million-dollar home," she said. So true. Even this morning, I was still making calls to friends whose homes were at risk. None of them were affected (beyond evacuations), but all had a story to tell of others less fortunate.

In professional life, at the end of the day all we have is our reputation. In personal life, all we have is our family, our faith, and our homes. According to the L.A. Times, some 259 homes were lost or damaged in the Freeway Complex fires (Brea, Corona, Chino Hills, Yorba Linda, Anaheim Hills); 524 in the Sylmar-Granada Hills fires; and 219 in the Montecito area. Do you have a story to tell about the fires? Write here.

President Obama

2008-11-05T07:24:00.000-08:00

"Dad, is President Obama in the newspaper?" One of the twins was trying to find a reason to get out of bed this morning, and this was it. He is an avid newspaper reader, and today, the 11-year-old deeply understood the news.

Last night, all three of my children, ages 14 to 11, watched history. My oldest asked, "Dad, did you ever think you'd see a black man elected president?" That took some thought. I told him I had never witnessed a black candidate in my adulthood who I thought would qualify....until I tuned into President-elect Obama's run about a year ago. He was talking on the radio, and I realized he understood, and that America might, as well.

The most important lesson of last night's election is that my children grasp the ongoing American theme, which is, you can follow your dreams and they will come true. It is an ethic that, frankly, is found virtually nowhere else in the world. Last night's election was perhaps the best-ever example of that theme in a country still saddled with 250 years of slavery and its shameful aftermath.

Another lesson came from John McCain, whose concession speech is a reminder of the importance of conceding with class. He proved that losers can still win – a reminder to sports teams caught in the final moment that sometimes show grace, and sometimes do not. McCain quieted the boos of a restless, perhaps bitter crowd. This was the beginning of a national unity push. He understood. Now, do we?

What lessons did your children learn from this election? Comment here.

Abandoned Child

2008-10-30T09:43:00.000-07:00

Nebraska's safe-haven law, designed for desperate mothers of newborns, has has unintended consequences – the dumping of older children. This week, a 15-year-old girl was dumped by her father. A few days ago, it was a troublesome 12-year-old boy left behind.

California's safe-haven law is typical of most other states (click HERE and click HERE for Spanish language). A parent can surrender a baby at a public or private hospital, or designated fire station, within 72 hours of birth without fear of arrest or prosecution. This allows a distraught parent, who might otherwise harm the baby, to use a safe haven.

In Nebraska, people from throughout the country as using the law's loophole to dump their children, no matter the age, without fear of prosecution.

Hard for most of us to comprehend giving up a baby; it seems unconscionable to give up on a child you have raised for years. But this is another reflection of tough times, when hope turns to despair for many. What options should parents have, and should the Nebraska law be amended? Comment here.

Morning Briefing, Gone

2008-10-21T07:39:00.000-07:00

The Los Angeles Times has tweaked its ever-slimmer paper again, and this time taken out the Morning Briefing from its sports-page Morning Briefing page. Times' reporters have for years dug up obscure, funny, and sometimes tragic sports notes that bring humanity to the spectacle. The column has been replaced by a "best of blogs" section that will be missing the enterprise reporting that marked the Times' coverage.

Blogs are nice – you are reading a nice one. But there is something to be said about the pulse of sportswriting, done well in-house. This is missing the point, and losing part of the heart.

USC vs. WSU

2008-10-14T11:57:00.000-07:00

USC plays Washington State University this week, which reminds me of the high school football game that just finished at 91-0. Your children have certainly been on the end of a blowout, whether up, or down. Either way, it rarely feels like their finest hour. In competition, rational people love a close contest.

USC is facing my alma mater; Wazzu is just about as pathetic a team as exists this season in Div. I. Several years ago, I played two years for the Cougars; the second year we were 2-9, though with a few breaks, it could have been 5-6. This team is so, so bad, that I worry the Trojans could hit the century mark. And that would be a shame. It wouldn't move up USC in the rankings and it would create an afternoon of infamy. P.S.: The high school game in question was played in Florida. Final: Naples High 91, Estero 0.

Hey, Trojans, would you settle for 37-3? I would. Write in with your predictions of this Saturday's final score.

Pingpong Diplomacy

2008-10-13T11:56:00.000-07:00

A main reason I play pingpong with my oldest is to get face-to-face time. The main reason my 14-year-old plays with me is to see if he can beat me yet. I'm losing on one front and holding on, on another. While rallying the other day, he began texting with his friends. Now, that really cuts into the dad thing. And, while texting, he had me huffing for good returns.

I think the next time we play, it will be a real game. I'm too good for him to beat me on points while texting. At least so far. Any suggestions on my backhand?

Less Dollars, More Need

2008-09-25T11:25:00.000-07:00

The next headline you will read after Congress tries to fix the financial mess is how much the economic slowdown hurts nonprofits. It is a bitter irony. Every time the economy goes south – and that traditionally means less giving – even more people need short-term help.

Sitting this week in a marketing meeting for the Orange County United Way, it struck me that one of United Way's beneficiaries – the morning's host, Costa Mesa-based Women Helping Women – provides professional business apparel and employment help to those needing to present well for a job interview. What a great thing (click HERE for Women Helping Women and how you can donate/help). And, at this moment, the service is particularly important (by the way, men are now being served as well and numerous suits, ties and other apparel were hanging in a nicely set-up room). Our marketing meeting included informational statistics about the huge increase in emergency housing and local requests for basic needs such as food.

One of our people remarked, "(We have to) turn a stat into a person." So, at a time when painful statistics leave us numb, we need to understand that we're in the middle of a year, or longer, when nonprofits are threatened with having less dollars, and more need.

United Way serves many masters. It can't afford to be the one with an empty cupboard. Please go on its website and see what you can do. It is a time of hurt (click HERE for United Way).

New Dads Unite!

2008-09-22T15:31:00.000-07:00

Boot Camp for New Dads, with programs at Pomona Valley Hospital and, in Orange County, at St. Joseph's, Saddleback, Mission, Santa Ana Mom's Program and Irvine Medical Center, brings veteran fathers with their very young children to a gathering of expectant first-time fathers who don't know where else to turn. For 18 years, and more than 200,000 participants, it's been an awakening. Irvine's Greg Bishop, father of four children, oversees the nonprofit.

He has just published a new book, but don't be off-put by the word "book." It is more of a checklist kind of thing for understanding what your wife is going through both in labor and after birth (the program emphasizes supporting moms), as well as your own parenting potential, pre- and after birth. "Crash Course For New Dads: Tools, Checklists & Cheat-Sheets" (click HERE for the website and info on buying the book) is a valuable resource for the often overlooked half of the new parent team.

"It's written for guys, most of whom don't read parenting books, and all those books their wives hand them to read," says Bishop. "It also has a child-birth coaching guide (and) it really summarizes everything we've learned from the more than 200,000 guys who have been there and done that."

I took my then-toddler to one of the programs several years ago (he's now 14) and served as a veteran to some new dads. It was a frank, private discussion from a guy (me) who was just learning the ropes and a half-dozen or so men who were wondering just what to do.

Little League Injuries

2008-09-16T14:12:00.000-07:00

This past weekend, umpiring a 10- and 11-year-old Little League game from behind the mound, I took a line drive off the foot and ducked another one headed for my head. The pitcher in front of me was unscathed. And, thank goodness.

Little League International has published a "white paper" on injuries and prevention (click HERE) and it reminds me of a new rule this past year. Pitchers cannot then go into a game to catch, the thought being that they have already used their arms to the max. The authors of this just-released paper readily comment about the need to "re-evaluate" and "critique" the rules. There are pitch counts in the books, rules about sliding, and mandatory protective gear.

Bottom line, it is a dangerous sport, though, according to this report, relatively few major injuries occur in a typical season. Little League is to be commended for always putting safety first.

3 Kids, 4 Sports

2008-09-02T09:14:00.000-07:00

We had to get three boys to four events in a span of about three hours the other day. Welcome to the sports family at full speed. Nathan had a cross-country run some 20 miles from home in the early morning, about the time Christopher had the first of two soccer games during a weekend tournament. And, Nick had a freshman high school football scrimmage.

Then, Nathan had to be rushed to a fall baseball practice, missing the first hour of a two-hour activity.

We had a teammate's mom take Christopher, and had grandpa in the starting gates in case we needed more transportation.

And we know we are not alone. How do you handle multiple children, with multiple sports? Tell me your tales, and solutions. Almost wish we were back in the middle of summer.

Running The Sport

2008-08-27T06:31:00.000-07:00

Listening to my 11-year-old son's cross-country coach puts me on the right path. It's a great sport. Jerry Palazzo, who oversees the Orange County-based club team the Equalizers, talked to runners and parents the other night about courage and commitment. He talked about an individual effort that only succeeds when the team pulls together. "As a collection, they feed off of each other's energy," he says.

Cross country is not for everyone. It is perfect for the more introspective athlete, and it is not for the runner who can do miles, but can't do pain. "Your inner strength and courage have to be at an extraordinary level," Palazzo told everyone the other night. "It's a lot to face, that hard part of the race." And, unlike virtually every other sport, he pointed out that "you never come to a stop in your competition." There is no timeout.

The cross-country season is beginning. You'll see them in the streets and in the hills, and I'll be holding one athlete near to my running heart.

Incoming College Freshmen

2008-08-19T13:11:00.000-07:00

Watergate doesn't resonate with the 18-year-old beginning college life this month and next. Harry Potter does. An annual study by a private university into the mindset of new students reminds us that "they" are not "we." If you are a fortysomething or fiftysomething parent who attended college, you have to know that it's a different world.

The Beloit College Mindset List (click HERE for highlights) reminds us that the Class of 2012 is a digital one, is an online person (or monster), is a cell phone devotee (or addict). We didn't have those toys back then; some of us still had use of a typewriter.

I recently wrote a Cover Story for sister publication OC METRO Business Magazine (click HERE for the story) about the Millennial Generation (those record 80 million Ameicans born between 1982 and 2003). They are now in full flush – going to college, voting in big blocks. For some, to know them is to love them. For all of us, make sure you know them to understand them. "The runway is really big," one of the Millennials says in the Cover Story. Boy is it ever.

Olympics: Beauty and the Beast

2008-08-14T15:42:00.000-07:00

China decided to have the pretty girl lip-sync its national anthem in the Opening Ceremonies while the girl with crooked teeth and too-round face – the real singer – stayed off-stage. China wanted us to see Beauty but hear the Beast. And we wonder why our young girls try to be too thin, too busty, and so on.

China, which has moved from the 19th century directly into the 21st century, has adopted Western ideas, pell-mell and one of them is that the prettier girl should be seen, if not heard. The ugly duckling ought to be heard, but not seen. Something to do with national honor.

What would you do in an Opening Ceremony that you wanted to be "perfect?" Go with the model, or go with the talent? Write here.

Aaron Peirsol, Olympic Golden Boy

2008-08-12T06:53:00.000-07:00

When OC Family Magazine put Irvine resident Aaron Peirsol on a 2000 cover, the then-17-year-old was a swimming phenom headed to an Olympic Games. In Sydney that year, he won a silver medal. This morning in Beijing, the boy who is now a man defended his 100-meter backstroke title from 2004. He won a gold medal.

Hard to believe that the teenager who posed for a photo while we poured water over his head has come so far, and for so long. He is an under-the-radar American swimmer, as most of them are to Michael Phelps. But this morning's performance was no fluke. Peirsol broke his own world record by swimming 52.54.

We Are The (Olympic) World

2008-08-11T07:32:00.000-07:00

If you are an Olympic follower, rooting for America isn't the only thing. It really is an event where you applaud the effort. I am less interested in Michael Phelps winning eight gold medals than I am in eight unbelievable events. The 400-meter freestyle relay was one. The Chinese women gymnasts are another. Candace Parker getting her chance a third. I love the Modern Pentathlon and table tennis.

A lot of stuff happens up to, during and after Olympic Games. The beauty and the skill of the athletes always tends to trump the politics. And that is good.

When Grandma Dies

2008-08-05T06:55:00.000-07:00

The hospital has a neat panel in the ceiling of trees and a brightly-lit sky with clouds. It must be the way to heaven, and Grandma took that path this morning.

My wife's mother, Edith, the grandmother to our three children, died before the sun arrived from the ravages of a stroke. It was her second stroke in eight months, and last December, one of our 10-year-old twins miraculously found her a few minutes after she collapsed in the garage. He insisted that early morning about going to get the newspaper. Stroke victims need to be found fast, and she recovered well. We just weren't that lucky this time. A few days ago, sitting with his other grandmother and sensing the finality of his lovely Grandma, our analytical twin said: "Now we'll only have one grandmother."

So, you hold onto memories and you thank heavens for a panel in a hospital room. As we left the hospital, left her body alone, daybreak had just arrived. Morning had broken.

Nick, Phone Home

2008-08-04T09:04:00.001-07:00

You let your 14-year-old son take a 10-day lacrosse trip across the country to New York state and you'd expect a phone call. We are now into Day 4 of the trip and yesterday at church, fellow parents were shocked, SHOCKED, that I didn't have much information on either my son (actually, none), or the team's success in a tournament.

This morning, I read an excellent blog that is keeping abreast of the club team's actions, and there was even a photo taken from behind of my son. At least, I think it's Nick.

We've never been this long without the big guy. I'm certain he is having fun. But, mom wants a call. And, win or lose, so does dad.

Michelle Wie And Her Dad

2008-07-31T10:42:00.000-07:00

Michelle Wie, at 18 now an adult, has made another bad decision orchestrated by her dad. She will play a PGA Tour event beginning today and pass on the prestigious Women's British Open, where she owes it to the LPGA to play. Apparently, her sponsor's exemption to the PGA Tour is a better payday, win or lose. And Wie, who famously was quoted as saying she wants "Tiger money," will become richer, and poorer, through this decision.

She continues to express "no idea" about her finances, and it is clear, like so many young athletes who can't, or won't, pull away from their overbearing parents, that this is about the money – not the run toward excellence – driving the cause.

We've all seen Daddy Ball, though typically at a lower level of competition. But, it isn't right at any level of sports. Michelle Wie, who has done horribly despite terrific talent on the LPGA Tour, and worse when she takes on the men, needs a new mantra: "Just win, baby." And, ditch the dad.

Send in your thoughts about guiding a young athlete, and knowing when to let them rise, or fall, on their own merits.

Your Kid At Yankee Stadium

2008-07-27T09:47:00.001-07:00

A young friend of one of my twins returned last week from the All-Star Game, which was played at the most famous ballpark in America – Yankee Stadium. It will be torn down at season's end (for details, click HERE) and the boy and his dad went back to experience a last-time event. I told the dad about my own experience at the stadium – the last Oldtimer's Game in 1973 at the old stadium before it was rebuilt – and Opening Day in 1976 at the current Yankee Stadium when it was rebuilt after a two-year renovation. In the Oldtimer's Game, Mickey Mantle, then long retired, hit his last home run, this one against longtime teammate Whitey Ford. I turned to my friend's dad, who had seen Lou Gehrig play, and tears were streaming down his face. "What a great moment, boys," he said.

"My wife said that your boy will remember his experience 45 years from now," I told the dad. He smiled and looked at me: "Just like you."

Do you and your son(s) have wonderful experiences at sports stadiums? Comment here.

Civil Rights In America

2008-07-16T11:11:00.000-07:00

KOCE-TV, Orange County's PBS station, is getting additional mileage from a ground-breaking civil rights documentary, "Mendez vs. Westminster: For All the Children." (See yesterday's blog for details.) Mel Rogers, president and general manager, who gave the green light a few years ago to Sandra Robbie, who brought the story to light (an American stamp was issued last year in honor of OC's Mendez family), spoke of the story's importance.

To be honored by The Paley Center for Media, and others, he says, requires a high criteria: "It has to be a show that reveals a truth or enlightens us to information that wasn't previously widely known." As for the story of a Latino family that faced school segregation in Orange County, Rogers adds, "This thing has taken on a life of its own."

The rights to the documentary are now held by Robbie, who has tirelessly traveled the country with one of the Mendez daughters, Sylvia, to bring to light an important, though before the film, little-known case. And Rogers sees the huge picture: A Mexican family comes to town to work and take care of the farm of a Japanese family that has just been thrown into a camp in the hysteria of World War II. And then, when the family decides to enroll its children in the local school, the administration just says no.

"We were just blown away when we learned the facts of the story," Rogers recalls. And so should you and your children. It is a great American lesson.

Mendez vs. Westminster

2008-07-15T15:05:00.000-07:00

Working its way through the state Legislature is a proposal to make the civil rights story of OC's Mendez family part of the curriculum. Meanwhile, the story – revived a few years ago by Emmy Award-winner Sandra Robbie – will not die. And that's good.

Robbie, now a Chapman University employee, produced the award-winning documentary, "Mendez vs. Westminster: For All the Children," for KOCE-TV. It tells the remarkable story of the Mendez family's victory to desegregate schools in Orange County. Eight years later, this case was cited in the landmark case, Brown vs. Board of Education, which outlawed the "separate but equal" doctrine.

The KOCE film has been accepted into The Paley Center for Media, the National Academy of Television Arts & Sciences, and the Television Bureau of Advertising collection in Los Angeles and New York. It also is available through Robbie's website (click HERE and then once there, click on OC Vintage Store).

We're proud of Sylvia Mendez, one of the family's daughters who was honored last year by sister publication OC METRO Business Magazine as one of the Hottest 25 People of Orange County. We're proud of Robbie for her ongoing work, and to KOCE for providing the platform.

Filling Backpacks

2008-07-14T13:21:00.000-07:00

As school approaches, many nonprofits seek help in providing the basics for less-fortunate students. This year will be no exception. Please find one near your home and help. Here is one way in Orange County. Share Our Selves (click HERE) will distribute more than 1,300 backpacks filled with school supplies to low-income children. Donations are needed – new and gently used backpacks, pencils, rulers, spiral notebooks, crayons, paper, calculators, markers, lunch bags, folders, erasers and gift cards for school clothing.

Volunteers are needed to stuff backpacks on Aug. 19, 21 and 22; Spanish-speaking volunteers are needed Aug. 23 to distribute the bags.

SOS, based in Costa Mesa, serves the working poor with numerous services. The ideal is to keep people self-sufficient.

First Day Of Football

2008-07-07T14:11:00.001-07:00

Let me be up front. With three boys, I have actively supported their athletic adventures, all the while discouraging their interest in playing football. Today, my oldest, entering high school in September, is at his first football practice.

Football is a violent sport. I know, I played it into college. It is also a sport for the big guys, and my boys won't be big, in that sense. It also is a sport that punishes, and we only have one body that heals only so well. It also is a sport that is fun and team-building, and so I can't condemn it completely. It also is a sport that now will consume my oldest until just before Thanksgiving, so I have to be supportive.

I just can't wait for lacrosse, and soccer, and Little League.

Off To Camp

2008-07-06T15:42:00.000-07:00

This afternoon, we bid a goodbye to our 10-year-old twins, off to church camp. They barely looked up to say, "See ya!" as they were consumed with their friends. Who sits with whom, on which bus, is a big thing. Politics, in its youngest form.

Of course, my wife and I did help a wee bit. One of our kids almost carted off the wrong suitcase and sleeping bag. But he figured that out quickly.

Except for my numerous photos, I was pretty much transparent. Now you see daddy, and now you don't.

Sometimes I wish for those days when they needed me, and looked for me, and expected of me. These days, when they can get along alone, they do.

See you in a week, twins. I said...see you in a week.

Protest Against Gas Prices!

2008-06-30T10:16:00.001-07:00

My wife finally broke $100 when filling up the gas tank, and I meekly muttered, "There goes the kids' 529 college funding plans." Wait, there has to be more. And there will be this week. An Irvine entrepreneur is rallying families and business people at a local gas station to raise a collective voice against nearly $5 a gallon prices.

Hey, a lot of bad came out of the turbulent 1960s – except for protest and music. The American reaction, 39 years after Woodstock, to escalating gas prices has been largely silent, and shame on us.

Yes, I know it is not the gas station's fault; those poor owners barely get a few cents for every gallon sold. But, where else to protest? So, Mitch Goldstone, of 30 Minute Photos Etc., has called on the community to meet in front of the Chevron station near Goldstone's work, in the small shopping center across from The District, corner of Jamboree and Barranca in Irvine. Time: 7:30-9 a.m. Date: Thursday, July 3.

It is time to be more than a silent majority of suffering families. We've all got kids to put through college, and own, run, or work for businesses that, one way or the other, are affected by this mess.

'The Night Has Been Too Lonely'

2008-06-24T13:05:00.000-07:00

The words from Bette Midler's "The Rose" remind we families in Orange County and the Inland Empire of the foreclosure crisis that has thudded against our doorstep. Chapman University's midyear economic report released this morning paints a painful picture for our three counties – of homes and families in distress and home values dipping well into the double-figures. A recession in full bloom.

"The job market is the good news," says Chapman economist Esmael Adibi. "Orange County's should stabilize in the beginning of 2009. We shouldn't see further job losses, and that's a big deal. People who are having problems now are having them because of interest rates. If they lose the job, it's a double-whammy. That's the bigger problem, if they don't have a job. Everything else is irrelevant."

The Inland Empire this year is suffering its first job losses since 1964. And, according to Chapman's statistics, Orange County will lose 18,000 jobs this year.

"In the Inland Empire, because (home) prices are going down so rapidly, by late 2009, affordability will start showing up," says Adibi. "But I don't count any rebounding prices."

By the end of next year, Adibi expects home prices to drop by 37% from their peak in the Inland Empire, and by 31% from the peak median home price in Orange County. This will continue to have a dramatic effect on families trying to hang onto homes that may be worth less than the mortgage that is owed. That, of course, is a recipe for foreclosure, for disaster.

"Look at our consumer sentiment (the worst since Chapman started charting this ranking of optimism, or lack thereof)," says Adibi. "It's not a great time for families."

As Midler sings: "The road has been too long."

Hunger Is More Than A Holiday Thing

2008-06-23T14:46:00.000-07:00

Margie Wakeham is a former school board member who has seen the impact of, and on, families. In fact, for more than a decade, she has headed Irvine-based Families Forward. The nonprofit helps with transitional housing and even more – homeless prevention, career coaching, school readiness, and the like. But it is when she talks of hunger, as she did to a group of us advising Orange County United Way – Families Forward is an agency supported by the United Way – that reality strikes.

"People aren't just hungry at Thanksgiving," Margie says. "They are hungry all year; in fact, several times a day."

Nonprofits like Families Forward, Second Harvest Food Bank, and Share Our Selves, have food pantries that reflect the needs of the community, and of the times. Requests are up.

To learn how you can help, go to Families Forward (click HERE), or another favorite nonprofit. Times are hard, and getting harder.

E.D. Hill, Fox News And Fist Bumps

2008-06-19T14:44:00.000-07:00

E.D. Hill of Fox News needs to spend more time in the middle of America – such as a Little League diamond – and less time shuffling papers in an office, waiting for her on-camera cue. She recently ran a segment after Barack Obama and his wife, Michelle, touched fists in a brief moment of communication. Hill's lead-in to a segment with a body language expert (who, to her credit, said couples have a right to their own personal ways to complement each other) asked the question, "A fist bump? A pound? A terrorist fist jab?"

Oh, that Hill...Clicking fists is a long-acknowledged way for youth, their coaches, and their friends and family to connect on the athletic field. It is particularly prevalent on a Little League diamond or dugout, where I have been a coach for years. To suggest that there is something evil about this is, well, naive.

As a longtime journalist, I don't pretend that many of my colleagues are well-rounded. This bit of programming was, at best, overmedicated.

Graduation Day

2008-06-19T09:35:00.000-07:00

My oldest son was promoted from eighth grade this week, and the walk-up of graduates was like a scene from a reunion party. So many teens, many that I had not seen since elementary days, walked up for a handshake with the principal. They were taller, more mature, OLDER. "That's so-and-so?" I caught myself asking more than once.

This is what happens when you coach youth sports across a couple of platforms (AYSO and Little League) for a number of years. You get to know families, and then lose touch.

They grow up, and, of course, many I now see time and again. Nick's friends, schoolmates and teammates. They also are a reflection of my own son, now 14, who is not the little boy who was last promoted from fifth grade.

A Run With A Son

2008-06-13T10:12:00.000-07:00

Part of the rationale for taking up personal training was to keep up with my oldest son, who at 14 is nearly as tall and as strong as I am, and more swift. One of my goals was to keep up with him on our rare, 4-mile runs together in the hills near our house. We took off a few days ago.

I thought that, after four months of training, as well as my usual regimen as a 25-year runner, I would do just fine. That was until the first hill. Nick raced ahead like a Nascar promo; I went uphill like a turtle.

Some things you can turn back. Aging is not one of them. My next goal is to teach my son patience – that is, to wait at the top of every hill for dad.

Pingpong at Nixon Library

2008-06-11T13:19:00.000-07:00

One of my earliest memories of the importance, and size, of China, was the 1971 pingpong diplomacy, when the U.S. sent its national table tennis team over there to help thaw relations and pave the way for President Nixon to meet with Mao Zedong. So, it was appropriate today when I took my father-in-law, a former junior champion out of Indiana, to the Nixon Presidential Library & Museum in Yorba Linda.

The Chinese and U.S. national teams are meeting this week for clinics, for competition, and for nostalgia. I took JB so he could watch an exhibition, and perhaps get to play. The latter didn't happen because the line was too long for amateurs such as us to get five minutes against one of the players. But it was quite a moment – a small sport, making such a huge impact. We took our paddles home and tonight, I'll challenge one of my three sons in a more familiar location – the back yard.

Touching Them All

2008-06-09T11:27:00.000-07:00

At the team-ending party for my Little League team yesterday, I did not say anything profound, but I wish I had shown a video that may be the best example of sportsmanship that I have ever witnessed. Recently, softball teams from Central Washington and Western Oregon were involved in a tournament game when a player from Western Oregon hit a home run, but in running around the bases, hurt her knee and could not continue – to see the video, go to:
http://sports.espn.go.com/broadband/video/videopage?videoId=3380875

The rule states that teammates cannot carry a player around the bases. So, the opponents asked if they could do so. And they did.

Now, the opponents lost the game because of that home run. Looking over the many pearls of wisdom I threw out at my 10-year-olds this year, one stands out at this moment. From John Wooden: "Ability may get you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there."

Little League Days

2008-06-02T19:33:00.000-07:00

"That's the first pitch and it's a strike!" a young fan enthused as our Little League playoff game commenced. Sunday afternoon would be the last game of a 4-month-long (plus 1 day) season. We started slowly and finished with a flurry, our mostly 10-year-old team reaching its potential just when the season seemed doomed. At this point in Orange County and the Inland Empire, only the teams with the best record are still playing. The rest of us have packed up for summer

Being a Little League manager is a tough business. You balance 12 or so families and, if you are honest, try to give each player his chance in the sun. And then it is over. As I told my young team back in January: "You'll only go through this once."

But as I finished my last post-game speech, snacks appeared, and suddenly what I said, meant nothing. And maybe that was for the best. It was time for ME to pack it in.

Memorial Day

2008-05-26T07:33:00.000-07:00

War for me began with the Vietnam War, when I hung a tiny picture of my cousin, in his Army uniform, in my room and my fifth-grade teacher played a tape from her son while bullets were being fired outside where he hunkered down. So lists of names from Iraq always particularly get to me. The names bring it home.

The Los Angeles Times has done an excellent job of keeping readers informed of the dead in Iraq and Afghanistan (click HERE for its database). On Sunday, the paper used up most of the front page of it California section for the 492 personnel from California who have died. Their median age was 23; they left behind more than 300 children. Today, the editorial page lists all Americans who have died in the conflicts this year.

The lists go on and on. Our brothers. Our sisters. Fathers. Mothers. Our people.

A Birth, And A Death

2008-05-19T10:31:00.000-07:00

This morning, I wrote back-to-back notes – one to friends who recently lost their daughter, and to another couple who just welcomed one into the world. It was a powerful few moments, trying to grasp the sense of loss on one hand, and on the other celebrating an unbelievable moment with a card starring Mickey Mouse's smiling face.

Parents have thoughts of loss, all the time. And dads, I believe, feel the pang of that possibility most greatly. The protector thing, I guess. But in whatever the thought form, it is distracting and unsettling. How could we go on?

This morning, I mourned and I celebrated. I smiled, and I cried.

Getting To School

2008-05-15T07:20:00.000-07:00

Something's not right. On one end, news reports say we won't have enough young workers for the next generation. On the other end, the United Way of America has decided on a 10-year goal to increase its efforts to stem the high school dropout rate and help with poverty.

Often, the two go hand-in-hand – undereducated Americans who then raise families on a shoestring. Sometimes the children rise above the hardship. Sometimes, they do not.

I told my wife the other night about the huge opportunity for our three young boys to truly be all they can be. America will need them. America will need millions of young workers. But, for nearly every one, parents keeping them in school, and helping them reach for the skies, will be the key. To learn more about local United Way efforts, click HERE for Orange County, and click HERE for the Inland Empire. The national organization's new motto is Live United. That says a lot.

Sandwich Generation

2008-05-05T08:59:00.000-07:00

For those of you raising children and facing the task of taking care of aging parents, the pressure from both sides is real. My wife and I are there with one set of parents. And, probably before our youngest (twins now age 10) hit college, we'll have a second set in which to carefully help along.
Mothers, ages 35-54, are particularly feeling the stress, according to the American Psychological Association's Stress in America survey. Some 2-in-5 men and women in this age group feel "overextended." (For the APA's Help Center, click HERE.)

The APA offers these strategies for moms to handle stress: Identify the stressors; recognize how you deal with it; find healthy ways to manage stress; take care of yourself; seek professional help if needed.

Our magazine group has covered the topic extensively (to read the first in a series, click HERE). Let's keep the topic going; suggestions, solutions, comment here.

Child Abuse And The Numbers

2008-04-29T14:44:00.000-07:00

More than 39,000 child-abuse cases were reported to local authorities in 2007, a number that rises each year. The Orange County Child Abuse Registry, where calls are received, reported an increase of 5,000 calls last year over 2006.

There are 107 child-abuse cases reported each day in OC. Some, obviously, are minor or even erroneous. Others, well, the stories would take your breath away.

At a recent breakfast meeting with the Child Abuse Prevention Center, whose mission is to break the cycle of abuse by preventing it in the first place, Executive Director Scott Trotter turned a quote from psychiatrist Karl Menninger on its head. The original: “What’s done to children, they will do to society.” Trotter’s take: “What’s done for children, they will do for society.”

“We talk of the child as a parent in 2030,” he says. “And we think of a parent who is child-abuse free.”

That is a goal. (To find out more about the nonprofit, click HERE.) When on the homepage, click on SPARK to get a sense of programming.

21st Century Parent (Part II)

2008-04-22T13:26:00.000-07:00

Last I posted on this topic, I had scrolled through a new book and reported that it is not alarmist, but to the point. Now that I have read most of "What Every 21st-Century Parent Needs to Know," by Debra W. Haffner, let me drill down on the excellent read.

First, I would be harder on the times in which we live. She has terrific statistics on obesity and online danger, but spins a little bit to the good side of big issues. No matter, parenting needs some good news. Just be aware of everything that she presents. For example, however you parent, start that way when they are young; be consistent.

One of the most interesting sections is her breakdown of the 4 parenting styles – permissive, authoritarian, affirming, and uninvolved. And, she explains which works best, based on the research.

Take the quizzes when you buy the book. You can always be a more informed parent.

Haffner writes: “I love being a parent.” That’s a telling statement. So, my question to you (and please comment here with the answer): Do you love being a parent?

Women Helping Women

2008-04-18T15:09:00.000-07:00

The Women's Philanthropy Fund has always been a clever idea – women helping women and girls achieve economic self-sufficiency. At the 5th annual fundraising breakfast today for the Orange County United Way's women's giving circle – a group that donates money, time and expertise – woman after woman who has benefited came up to give her own personal testimonial.

"I found myself," said Erica, sponsored by another United Way partner, the Girls Scouts. "The addict inside of me thought life was over, but for me, life was just beginning," said Alina, educated through an excellent nonprofit jobs program, Taller San Jose.

Guest speaker before some 600 women (and a handful of men) was Patricia Diaz Dennis, an executive with AT&T, former commission of the FCC and today chairwoman of the board of the Girls Scouts of the USA. Important here: She has 10 principles of a cowgirl, a list she borrowed from a book, "Cowboy Ethics." They are: lead your life; take pride in your work; have courage and confidence; be tough but fair; when you make a promise, keep it; blaze your own trail; talk less and say more; some things aren't for sale; be self-sufficient; pay it forward.

For more on the Women's Philanthropy Fund, click HERE.

"Goodies" For The Middle Class

2008-04-17T06:40:00.000-07:00

A news report this week indicates that Sen. John McCain will give a bone to the middle class should he become president. The Republican would double the exemptions for families with dependents (children), which would push the amount to $7,000.

More needs to be done, and this is not a plea for a handout from a dad with 3 dependents. The fact is, the middle class is being swallowed up by the expense of being Americans. And this is not just a plea for lower gasoline prices. The cost of raising children has reached the monumental stage.

Something needs to be done beyond the excellent headline in the Orange County Register ("McCain plan offers goodies to middle class"). For suggestions, comment here.

Going To The Mother's Ball

2008-04-14T11:27:00.000-07:00

It is always great to promote a worthy event, and the annual Bright Futures Ball, benefiting a child-abuse nonprofit, is an example. The Child Abuse Prevention Center of Orange County is hosting its 10th annual major fundraiser on May 10 at the Newport Beach Marriott Hotel and Spa (click HERE). Along with the usual entertainment, auctions and food, this year the event occurs the day before Mother's Day, so the hook is particularly keen.

Yes, I serve on an advisory board, so this could sound self-serving. But this also is a blog for the beloved OC Family and Inland Empire Family magazines, making this burst of enthusiasm right on point.

Mothers, and their children, are so often caught in the web of abuse. The nonprofit's goal is to be an intervention, to put a dent in the cycle of child abuse, domestic violence and teen pregnancy. That effort takes money; this effort helps pay for it. Tickets, and hosted tables, now available.

21st-Century Parent

2008-04-02T13:45:00.000-07:00

A new book that is not alarmist, but at the same time to the point, has come out: "What Every 21st-Century Parent Needs to Know," by Debra W. Haffner. I am just getting into the book; the essence is that the edge of your developing and teen child's world has not crumbled into the era that has no morals, no moral compass. Yes, it is dangerous out there, but not the end. Everyone, practically, believes it is harder to be a parent today than at any other time. Haffner, a parenting educator, deals with that issue.

I'll keep you informed as I get through some chapters. In the meantime, do YOU believe it is harder to parent today than yesterday? Comment here.

Baseball Season Begins

2008-04-01T09:59:00.000-07:00

My wife came into the kitchen early this morning. She wanted to know the score of the Angels' game. Finally, spring training is over. One of the twins soon made his way downstairs to comb through the sports pages. It's baseball season, and, at least in our home, it's the best season of all.

Go, Angels!

YouTube Nation

2008-03-25T07:12:00.000-07:00

As I listen to "Canon Rock," an innovative guitar riff that has received something like 40 million hits on YouTube, I'm reminded that not all video finds are gems. In fact, they are not (for the video, click HERE). As my growing children increasingly navigate the Internet with the ease that we adults can only wish for, the inherent dangers of what they might find on video-sharing sites such as YouTube, break.com, revver, veoh, dailymotion and others are growing.

As I have reported in OC Family magazine (most recently in the September 2007 issue, click HERE), there is a dark side of the Internet that is easy to stumble upon. We parents may be blithely unawares, but we shouldn't be. Family filters don't work and the honest fingers of your children may be a keystroke away. The bad stuff is mixed in next to the good stuff. I've seen it, I've researched it, and it's not what you want your children to find. Be aware, and, should you have specific suggestions about keeping the Internet both access-ready and safe, comment here.

Obama And Slavery

2008-03-24T08:52:00.000-07:00

On the heels of Barack Obama's famous speech of several days ago, a children's book on slavery has crossed my desk. It's timely in that one of Obama's most forceful points in his speech on race (click HERE for video) was that perspective needs to be applied, even in the modern age. Time doesn't necessarily heal all wounds. And, slavery was never a passing thing in America.

"Night Running," by Elisa Carbone, is a story of how young James, with the help of his dog Zeus, comes up with a plan in 1838 to escape Master Graham's farm and slavery.
It is a gripping tale based on a true story, and carries particular relevance at a time when Obama's presidential run makes race, and talking about race, again an American issue. It also comes at a time when we struggle with slavery, we struggle with presenting it in historical perspective (a recent news story said that a debate has erupted around President Jackson's owning of slaves and whether he was a "good slave owner," and whether that term could EVER be used, in ANY context). In this story, James is done with being a slave. But in the world that was then (and that is now in many parts of our world today), making that decision was both courageous and audacious.

James was a boy we all would want to meet, but none of us would consider owning. Read this to your children; they need to know.

'Childhood's End'

2008-03-21T08:02:00.001-07:00

Renowned science fiction writer Arthur C. Clarke died this week; a book of his that gave me the most introspection was his classic from the 1950s – “Childhood’s End.”

It is a complicated story, but the point for today’s families is that the children are taken away at a time when no more children are being born.

This is an imaginative, though horrible, take on what happens to a world when parents no longer have their children.

Clarke is credited with foreseeing, through his books such as “2001: A Space Odyssey,” a future world that is today. His “Childhood’s End” is a timeless tale that affected me when I read it at 12 or 13, and has stayed with me deep into fatherhood. No children? How would you cope? Comment here.

Rhonda's Smithsonian Photo

2008-03-19T14:36:00.000-07:00

Rarely does a photograph capture exactly the moment. Even Sports Illustrated falls short from time to time, and that magazine shoots each event until the cows come home. Rhonda Weiderhaft of North Tustin, a mom of 3 young boys whose passion is shooting Little League games, has been honored by Smithsonian magazine as one of 50 finalists in its annual international amateur photo contest. She entered the Americana category. This is similar to being a finalist for a Pulitzer Prize. It's that's big, and it's that important. Hard to believe she was on one knee, shooting through a chain-link fence, one of her boys clinging to her. Greatness comes to those who try.

Rhonda, a longtime friend, took a photo last year that will bring a tear to the eye of anyone who appreciates art, and understands the joy, and sorrow, that envelopes virtually every youth game. I know, I've been there. I've seen how little boys try to do their best, and then in the moment handle the success, or the failure, with a human depth that is hard to describe. And, sometimes, it takes a picture to do the explaining, to take you where the emotion has gone. And that's why Rhonda (whose photo was a winner in our annual Family Photo Contest last December, click HERE) has been honored. What I can't describe in words, she has captured in a single frame. A Tustin Western Little League all-star, age 10, scored the winning run in the final inning of a game that made his team a district champion. You don't need to know more; the photograph tells it all.

Nuestros Niños: Our Children

2008-03-17T09:50:00.000-07:00

A key category on this website is the button at the top of the page that takes you to Nuestros Niños. This Spanish-language page offers vital health and human resources directories for our Orange County and Inland Empire families, as well as relevant summaries of our key stories each month.

In addition, newly added to our ocfamily.com site is our long-established Birth to 5 column that readers of our print publication are familiar with, and now it is online in Spanish. Our friends at the Children and Families Commission of Orange County supply this important information for newly formed families and those with babies, toddlers, and slightly older children.

About 35% of Orange County's population is Latino and, according to the just-released Orange County Community Indicators, 44% of county residents over the age of 5 speak a language other than English in the home.

We believe this is a key resource for our Spanish-speaking readers. Please pass along this information, and let us know how to make the page even more relevant.

Foreclosures And Economy

2008-03-14T07:59:00.000-07:00

As we drove by a house with an ill-kept lawn at dusk last night, I jokingly asked my wife: "Do you like that house?" She replied, "It's in foreclosure." That's no laughing matter. Americans are increasingly worried about the economy, with 35% of respondents placing it as their top issue in the latest Gallup Poll (click HERE).

DataQuick, which tracks Southern California home sales, reported the slowest February in its reporting history. Orange County was down nearly 40% from February 2007; Riverside County down nearly 30%; San Bernardino County down more than 45%. OC, one of the nation's most expensive places to live, saw its median price drop $100,000 year over year, to $520,000.

Nearly one-half of existing homes sold in Riverside County in February had been in some kind of foreclosure mode in the past year. That's no laughing matter. The word is that areas like Moreno Valley are starting to look like foreclosure central. And that's a tragedy. Do you have stories about today's economy? Comment here.

Eliot Spitzer: Stand By Her Man?

2008-03-12T10:12:00.000-07:00

So, New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer resigned today in the backwash of his hiring prostitutes. But the enduring image I have of the affair is his insistence in having his wife stand by his side when he first went public with an apology. It was insulting and it was counter-productive.

As a dad and husband, there is much I would demand of my wife in the "for better or for worse" category. Obviously, "for worse" is the bigger challenge.

And, there is at least one spectacle I would not insist that she endure – humiliated again! - and I believe that first press conference would be item one. Was he right in asking her to stand by him for such an announcement? Please comment here (and, for a women's view, click HERE to read Lynn Armitage's Beauty Blog at our sister website, bodybeautifulmagazine.com).

Moms Clubs: Our Exclusive Listings

2008-03-12T08:27:00.000-07:00

You will find on the Nav bar of this homepage a new listings, for our Orange County and Inland Empire Moms Clubs. This is vital to our readership, who want nothing better than to join a support group when their children are very young, and to reach out to other clubs when appropriate.

Let us know what you think of the listings. And, write to me for additions, corrections, and other information. We are looking to expand that page into an interactive space. Let us know what you want, and we'll deliver. All the best.

Public Service And Kids

2008-03-11T14:55:00.000-07:00

One of the most impressive things about the Clinton Library in Little Rock, Ark., is the turn-of-the-19th century, converted train station a few feet away that now serves as the Clinton School of Public Service. I was at the library a few weeks ago and ran into the school’s dean, James “Skip” Rutherford. He supervised the planning of the library and, obviously, has met presidents in his day.

He would tell you that the students he now oversees – the only graduate school offering a master’s degree in public service – are “among the best and brightest I have met anywhere.”

If my one twin becomes a lawyer, as he’s now decided at age 10, I hope his pro bono work dwarfs his paycheck. If my oldest son follows through as a pediatric surgeon, I hope he joins Doctors Without Borders. And if my other twin becomes a teacher, he will be among the best. I wish public service falls deep within their aspirations. Maybe they’ll even go to this school (click HERE).

Rutherford describes one of the students now enrolled: “Raised in the impoverished Mississippi Delta, graduate of The University of Mississippi, joined AmeriCorps and worked doing Katrina relief in New Orleans. He worked in a soup kitchen in Ho Chi Minh City, at a day-care center in Ecuador, helped rebuild a medieval castle in France, ran with the bulls in Spain, and is studying Kiswahili on the side (so he can go) to Tanzania with the U.S. Agency for International Development. And he just turned 25.”

As Rutherford points out: “We have a country full of people who every day get up and do good, and do well.” Here at the school, a handful of young people get the professional training to follow their hearts.

Homeschooling And The State

2008-03-10T14:43:00.000-07:00

A UC Riverside professor who with his wife homeschools their children in Orange County is carefully watching a court decision that would essentially wipe out homeschooling in this state. "It is terrifying," says Frank Vahid; he and his wife have 3 children – the 16-year-old is now in college and the 14- and 9-year-old are taught at home. At issue is a court ruling (read it HERE) involving another family that says that homeschooling as now practiced is not a constitutional right. Translation: Either children need to be put into a public school, a full-time private school, or have a credentialed teacher at home.

Most parents who opt for homeschooling don't have the credential and don't like the options. They teach their children for many reasons, ranging from religious beliefs to a lack of confidence in California's educational system. For Vahid and his wife: "The main reason was for family life, to have a good amount of time together. Quality time, to be able to participate fully in the raising of our kids while they are young."

Vahid, who teaches computer science and engineering, is not new to the debate. He wrote a book, "Homeschooling: A Path Rediscovered for Socialization, Education, and Family." He was one of the architects of the homeschool admissions process at UC Riverside. Between a dozen and 2 dozen students from homeschooling backgrounds have gone through during the 2-year-old process. Vahid reports that they are doing well academically. The court ought to hear that testimony. Do you have thoughts about homeschooling? Comment here.

Take The Amtrak Train

2008-03-07T13:52:00.000-08:00

Before they go off to college, I want to take the kids on the train, preferably Amtrak's Coast Starlight from L.A. to Seattle. There's a little problem with a blown-out section right now south of Portland, though hopefully by summer, if our family can swing it, we'll go. A summer trip would beat my deadline by several years.

The best commute is hardly any at all. However, when I pick up a colleague at the Metrolink station once a week, I'm envious of all those people who are hopping off. Trains just have cars beaten.

Why all the nostalgia? Amtrak has announced that the first annual National Train Day will begin in April, ending with a celebration May 10 (anniversary date of completion of the first transcontinental railroad, at Promontory Summit, Utah, in 1869). More people are taking the train than ever – Amtrak reported a record 25.8 million passengers for 2007. Maybe it's more than nostalgia. Maybe it's the way to go.

Another Shooting: Eve Marie Carson

2008-03-07T07:46:00.001-08:00

The name in the headline was destined to be a person you and I would come to know. Perhaps not personally, but by the natural outreach of the young collegian. She was headed THERE. The 22-year-old was not supposed to end up below a tombstone. The University of North Carolina student body president was gunned down while driving through the city streets. There is no rationale for the crime, police say. Random.

Driving to a workout very early this morning, I suddenly worried about my oldest son, who has to cross a busy street each day on his bicycle. My thoughts drifted to his future; his wonderful potential.

Eve Marie Carson's story (click HERE) unfolded like a book of dreams. A scholar, a fellow, a teacher, a student abroad, a premed major (click HERE for a slide show).

In the last few days, there have been shootings in Jerusalem, and a senseless killing in South Central L.A. It's been a bloody year in a bloody world. Anger, senselessness. What do we tell our children? How do we protect them? It is almost too hard to write what Carson's high school principal said: "It's one of the greatest tragedies I've ever known." She was an American we couldn't afford to lose. And now she's gone.

The Next Steven Spielberg

2008-03-06T09:19:00.000-08:00

When my oldest son got into photography, and did so glowingly, I thought it was the first step toward becoming a film director. Then he discovered lacrosse. This morning, I finished watching an award-winning film, "The Line," in which Chapman University graduate Andrew Davis (May 2007) earned honors for his cinematography.

As I watched the 23-minute movie made by Chapman's Dodge College of Film and Media Arts, I was struck by the opportunity awaiting the students at this new film school, and elsewhere. The online universe is exploding, and while many young filmmakers shun video, most will find a way to make a living in that arena. Davis would do well to hone his craft with video shoots as he works his way into Hollywood.

The best part of the movie was his talent; the other parts need more refinement (Spielberg would mention lots of repetitions). So, this is a plug. We're looking for young videographers; we'll take them from high school through college and beyond. Dads, you might have been the star of a first effort. Tell your sons to reach me at: creem@churmmedia.com. Meanwhile, if you have thoughts about Chapman's emerging school, comment here.

Will McCain Be Our Daddy?

2008-03-05T08:03:00.000-08:00

The second headline to the Democratic slugfest last night was the fact that John McCain is now officially the Republican candidate for president. It's important for parents, in making a choice, to decide who will best represent the American family in the Oval Office. Sen. McCain has taken grief from many conservative leaders for not having the right stuff as it relates to family values.

Parents, I would hope, are able to move beyond the rhetoric and decide in a different way. In the right way, in a way that will benefit their children a generation from today.

Where are you leaning? With 3 people left standing, who will make the best president, the one who will put the American family first? That's our question of the day. Comment here.

Jobs: No Wonder Dad's Nervous

2008-03-04T10:26:00.000-08:00

The latest figures out from the state Employment Development Department show what we all knew but perhaps hadn't yet seen the raw data: Job losses in Orange County and the Inland Empire are mounting.

Dads, typically being the main family breadwinners, are feeling the pinch, particularly if they are in the financial services arena (such as a mortgage broker) or holding a subprime mortgage that goes up, up, up. Orange County lost about 13,000 jobs in 2007 and the Inland Empire lost 7,300. Those numbers are expected to grow in 2008. In a housing story I wrote recently for sister publication OC METRO Business Magazine (click HERE), a housing expert expects a record 20,000 foreclosures in Riverside County alone this year; some 6,000-7,000 in Orange County.

That's not a result of everyone getting a raise. Is your family feeling the pinch? Let's start the conversation, and talk about solutions. Because if dad's not sleeping well right now, you'all need to know why.

OC Family's Big Awards

2008-03-03T07:35:00.001-08:00

Each year our professional association hands out awards to the best family magazines in America. Again, we were chosen as one of the very best. Parenting Publications of America, with more than 100 members, named OC Family Magazine one of the 3 best in the United States as our magazine, which is about to celebrate its 10th anniversary, received a Bronze Award for General Excellence. This ranks the magazine from stem to stern. Our sister publication, Inland Empire Family Magazine, shares in the awards as it shares much of the same content. We also were honored with 5 other awards, a reflection of our new leaders in editorial and design – Editor Lynn Armitage and Art Director Luke Hodsdon. There are several people inside the magazine and helping us as consultants (Director of Design John Miller) who also deserve rounds of applause. We'd also like to thank longtime contributors Carol Daus and S. Danyelle Knight, who won a Silver Award for the Passages columns (click HERE to read Carol's winning entry and click HERE to read Danyelle's winner). Design awards were given for Front Cover/Original Photo; Front Cover/Stock Photo; Interior Photography Excellence; and Overall Use of Photography. Congratulations to the team and the entire Churm Media group.

Cheatin' Hearts

2008-02-27T10:03:00.000-08:00

I had a high school teacher who was so appalled at cheating that he made sure it didn't happen in his classroom, placing desks helter-skelter around the room come test time. Yet, a student (and no, not me) at least once used the writing on the inside of a wrist to help himself out. Cheating is endemic in the American way of life. Just look at baseball. Now, a famous private school in Los Angeles, Harvard-Westlake, has expelled 6 students for stealing exams before the test. More students are expected to be drawn in.

You can put all the safeguards you want into a school setting, but unless you have a discussion with your children, the lure of cheating may be too big lure to avoid. Hard to believe it could be YOUR child. However, read national statistics from the Josephson Institute Center for Youth Ethics (click HERE).

I hate cheating, and so should you. As dads mark the high bar, what suggestions do you have to combat a setting (schools) and a society (America) in which cheating is OK, as long as you get away with it? Comment here.

How To Make Better Parents

2008-02-25T08:26:00.000-08:00

A recent Time magazine Cover Story, “How to Make Better Teachers” (click HERE) could easily have been turned into a more relevant story: “How to Make Better Parents.” Whenever I read about holding schools accountable, I’m immediately looking for the paragraph about making parents more accountable. I’m a big believer that the parent is the first teacher, and the last. While we all need, and pray, for a great teacher in the classroom, we have to make certain we’re creating a living, learning environment at home. It is the rare child who is dismissed at home and thrives solely at school. And, it is the rare child who doesn’t thrive in the world by the mere fact that his or her parents are also teachers. According to a graphic in the story, 44% of teachers in one survey left the profession because of student behavioral problems. That’s not a teacher issue, that’s a parental one.
Are you a parent AND a teacher at home? Let’s start the conversation by commenting here. To read our groundbreaking story on the teaching profession, click HERE.

Giving With Your Heart

2008-02-22T11:37:00.000-08:00

Two programs that affect kids in Orange County and the Inland Empire have crossed my desk, and they are worth a moment to consider.
Girls, Inc. (girlsinc-oc.org), with the Orange County chapter based in Costa Mesa, serves more than 4,500 girls ages 4½-18 in a variety of ways, with the end purpose to prevent teen pregnancy by preparing them for success in life, including a college education. The program is in part funded by Orange County United Way.
The other is A Place Along the Way (aplacealongtheway.org), with services in Fontana, that primarily helps troubled teens and young adults. This nonprofit is in the midst of a big push for funding and in-kind items and services, so immediate attention is needed. By addressing youths’ personal, social, and economic development, they have a better chance to lead responsible, healthy, independent adult lives free of addictions, crime and homelessness.
At Girls, Inc. in Costa Mesa, Executive Director Lucy Santana-Ornelas notes that when the national organization started 54 years ago, the focus was on social, cooking and sewing. That has been expanded to today’s realities of “healthy eating, nutrition, body image, leadership, science and math. We want to inspire girls to be strong, smart and bold.” At Girls, Inc., a huge group of volunteers recently built a playground in one day, with special expertise from volunteers from The Home Depot. Getting the girls – 64% of whom are Latinas – college-ready is a huge undertaking. “We no longer talk about when you graduate from high school, but when you graduate from college,” says Santana-Ornelas.

Giving For After-School Programs

2008-02-21T07:37:00.001-08:00

Donald Bren, The Irvine Co.'s chairman who has opened his pocketbook to education for years, has done so again in helping drive vital after-school programs in Santa Ana and elsewhere. He donated $8.5 million this week to the Orange County-based THINK Together after-school program serving Southern California. The nonprofit provides relevant, academically oriented after-school curriculum for low-income students. Often, it is what happens after regular school hours that makes a difference for children who just need a little push. Bren's gift, and this program, help lift all boats.

Wazzu's Hero Randal Simmons

2008-02-19T11:08:00.000-08:00

√√I missed playing football with Randal Simmons – the heroic, slain LAPD SWAT officer – by 2 seasons. I was a wide receiver at Washington State University (Wazzu to students and alum alike), ending with the 1974 season; he was a cornerback who began school there in 1976. He was the type of teammate I yearned to have. Simmons was slain while attempting to save some people in a house held at gunpoint. Every day, he tried to help people; the personal stories from fellow cops about his heartfelt interactions with those in need in Los Angeles are truly inspiring. He took time off from work to mentor kids; he would pray for, and with, the downtrodden. I regret that there were too few inspiring players on my team. He certainly changed the locker room scene, though too late for me to benefit. Thankfully, thousands of others did. A memorial service last week in Los Angeles prompted thousands to say, “Thank you.”

Roger Clemens

2008-02-13T13:41:00.001-08:00

"The one that has the most to lose (in a congressional hearing) is Roger Clemens," a commentary intoned. Well, for those of us with children in sports, families have the most to lose. With the specter of cheating running ad nauseum (Sports Illustrated recently ran a story about a father who injected his son with chemicals to improve his sports ability), teaching young athletes to do the right thing becomes ever so harder. So, it's not about Roger Clemens, it's about doing what's right.

Newman's Own

2008-02-12T10:40:00.000-08:00

More than 25 years, and more than $200 million after actor Paul Newman decided to raise money for educational and charitable causes, he’s come out with his own wine.
Newman’s Own Wines will debut Feb. 26 at Fleming’s Prime Steakhouse & Wine Bar at Fashion Island. His California Chardonnay and Cabernet Sauvignon will be in markets and elsewhere in March. (Click HERE for more info.)
Newman’s Foundation, whose mission statement is “shameless exploitation in pursuit of the common good,” has raised its money on the backs of his own salad dressings, pasta sauce, popcorn, lemonade, salsa and other goods. His most famous charity is the Hole in the Wall Camp in Connecticut that is a residential summer camp for children with cancer and other illnesses. Some 8 of those camps now exist; he has donated to hundreds of charities.
Now come the wines.

'Bobby'

2008-02-12T08:22:00.000-08:00

Fell into a DVD last night about Bobby Kennedy that is relevant to this presidential campaign. "Bobby," an Emilio Estevez film released in November 2006, recounts the hours leading to the assassination of Kennedy at the Ambassador Hotel in Los Angeles. He was probably going to be our next president. What matters in this film (you can buy it HERE) is the inspiration that he created, crossing the country to his final moments. He reminded us "that those who live with us are our brothers, that they share with us the same short moment in life." Which candidate is inspiring you and your family? That's the person to vote for this year. To see the trailer, click HERE, and then watch carefully, and listen intently. Comment here about your thoughts.

Describing A Dad

2008-02-08T13:15:00.000-08:00

An email is circulating that gives the job description of a parent: long-term team player; 24-hour on-call; primitive camping sites; rainy (or hot) weekends; no possibility for advancement and promotion. That sort of thing. What qualities make a dad? That's the question of the day. Comment here.

Romney's Missed Opportunity

2008-02-07T12:44:00.000-08:00

It is with regret that Mitt Romney has dropped out of the race for the presidency (click HERE), if for no other reason than that he offered the best chance to raise the issue of the American family – our theme here for several weeks now. Romney's hesitancy to discuss his Mormon faith played a role in his inability to structure an election push in this direction. There is no other group in America as dedicated to family as Mormons. Something like only 9% of Mormon marriages end in divorce, and there is a so-called Mormon Monday in which a day of the week is typically set aside for family togetherness. These are tenets of a faith that ought to be broadcast to a wider audience. And Romney was the one. And now he isn't. Comment here on his decision, and the missed opportunity.

Parents, Time To Lead

2008-02-06T08:03:00.000-08:00

Super Tuesday provided no clear Democratic winner, although on the Republican side, John McCain is very close. This provides an opportunity for parents – I would refer to us as the Silent Majority, but that has already been used, so we are the Silent Parents – to begin the dialogue to be heard. This blog has covered a lot of ground leading up to the California Primary yesterday; we now run the risk of electing a president who didn't hear our voices on the campaign trail loud and clear. And that's not good. Your comments on moving forward as a voting bloc would be appreciated.

Is Obama For Real?

2008-02-04T17:38:00.000-08:00

I have in front of me a Cover Story by Time Magazine that insists that youth – some of our readers' sons and daughters – will sway this election, and mostly sway it in favor of Barack Obama (click HERE). By the time you read this, you will see if their army of voters is, indeed, an army or something more familiar – a voting bloc that doesn't turn out in the numbers needed to be a real power. I also have in front of me a New York Times blog that notes that Bill Clinton is a drag on his wife's campaign (click HERE). Americans now believe he wants the White House so much because he might seek undue influence over his wife. These are among the choices on the Democratic side, and what might carry the day during Super Tuesday. On the Republican side, you choose either the war hero turned outspoken senator, John McCain, or a former governor who seems like a decent man wrapped in sound bites. That would be Mitt Romney. Who will you choose?

Ready For A Vote

2008-02-04T09:02:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is the California Primary. Several times in the past weeks, I've encouraged our family of readers to weigh in. The general question: Which candidate has the American family first and foremost on their agenda? It has been disappointing, the little debate by the candidates in this arena. However, tomorrow, we vote. Who will you vote for, and why? Comment here.

Dying In Iraq

2008-02-01T11:19:00.001-08:00

Every American death in Iraq ought to be personal; we should feel like it happened to family, because, in fact, it does. And, then it does. One of my company's employees lost her nephew, Josh Young, 21, to an insurgent ambush this week. In that same attack, Army Pfc. Brandon Abbott Meyer, 20, of Orange, also was killed, along with 3 other soldiers. They were attached to the 1st Battalion, 8th Infantry Regiment Team, 4th Infantry Division out of Colorado. According to Josh's aunt, our beloved employee Ruth Erives of Corona, they had bonded like brothers. Now they are bonded as angels. Our OC and Inland Empire Family Editor, Lynn Armitage, will give more detail about Josh in the March editions' Editor's Note. Please remember to read our magazine that month. As for the meaning to all this, we know there isn't one. No matter your stance on the war, most Americans are unified in their concern for our fighting men and women. How can we make certain we care enough? What should we do, or do more of? Send your thoughts here, by commenting now.

McCain, Romney And Families

2008-01-31T13:05:00.000-08:00

John McCain is wrong in making the war in Iraq the No. 1 issue in America. The American family is the No. 1 issue. And Mitt Romney is wrong in suggesting that government spends too much money on social programs and that most Americans, can, indeed, afford healthcare. That's a simplification of very complex issues. In their debate last night at the Ronald Reagan Library, the 2 Republican front-runners missed yet another turn at framing the American family. In fact, no major candidate has done so over the months. We're looking for someone who can define the issues from a family standpoint, who will talk less broadly and more specifically. The pressure on the middle class means uncommon stress on the family unit. It's as simple as that. What a president does best is use the office as a bully pulpit, enunciating what matters most and, through persuasion, making change. We're looking for that someone. Enter the debate, at least through the California Primary next week. Comment here on the American family.

John Edwards On Families

2008-01-31T08:53:00.000-08:00

As John Edwards dropped from the presidential race, his farewell letter touched on a few family issues that need to be debated among the candidates, but which have taken a back seat due to too much time fundraising, too much time backstabbing, and too little time on what matters. To us, the American family is a key issue; it has nearly been a transparent topic all these months. Edwards' points speak to our issues: teaching outreach (he spoke of college kids rehabbing houses in New Orleans); the economy (difficulty in making ends meet); health care (too expensive for many families); and a public school system that needs to work. The last point, the school system, has been widely missed by all the candidates; they have failed to raise the importance of parents being the leader in educating their children. There, that's one issue that ought to be discussed. As the debates continue tonight, what are the issues facing the American family that the candidates ought to be discussing? We are following this through at least the California Primary, which is on Tuesday. Comment here.

Dear President, From Families

2008-01-28T16:42:00.001-08:00

The California Primary is a week away, and for all the millions of words spoken and debated, little about the importance of the American family has emerged from the major presidential candidates. It has never been a main topic of the debates, or a signature piece in an earlier primary. Which candidate would be best in putting the American family first, and why should he or she? That’s a question I am asking of you. We need to fuel the debate as we prepare for next Tuesday. Please comment here.

World Hunger

2008-01-28T08:02:00.000-08:00

Gaddi Vasquez has been to more than 60 countries as Peace Corps director and, for more than a year, as U.S. ambassador to the United Nations. In Rome, he monitors the dollars and products donated by the American government to various efforts worldwide to stem hunger and malnutrition. And on a visit to Orange County last week, he talked in front of more than 200 luncheon guests at an OC Forum event about world hunger. I had interviewed him earlier for our sister publication, OC METRO Business Magazine (click HERE )
But seeing him in person, talking about this global crisis, really hit home. As he pointed out, since a child dies every 5 seconds from hunger, dozens and dozens would die during this particular 25-minute lecture. And, as he noted about his own first-person accounts: “It has touched me profoundly, and…changed me.” The fight is against not only hunger but chronic malnutrition, poverty and disease. He didn’t touch on another subject, yawning unrest that prevents many countries from opening, or protecting, distribution routes. He recalls a 6-year-old boy he met in the Caribbean and for whom he gave a See’s candy. The boy broke the gift into 3 pieces. And Gaddi asked why, and his guide told him that one was to eat, and two were to sell. “He was sacrificing the pleasure of a child…to help his family,” Vasquez said.
While the ambassador does not endorse any nonprofit, here are 3 he says he works with: World Vision (click HERE), CARE (click HERE), and Save the Children (click HERE). Suggestions and ideas to solve world hunger? Comment to this blog.

SOS To The World

2008-01-24T14:25:00.000-08:00

A sobering day is when you visit an Orange County nonprofit that provides emergency services to those in need – Share Our Selves, or SOS, of Costa Mesa – and then follow that up with a business luncheon where the keynote speaker is former OC Supervisor Gaddi Vasquez, who now is U.S. ambassador to the United Nations overseeing America's efforts in stemming world hunger. At SOS, a young girl, not more than 3, romps around a waiting room as her mother, father, younger brother and baby sibling await medical help. Some 50 families a day, on average, show up for financial aid and 175 families a day receive food from the pantry (click HERE). Supported by organizations such as Hoag Hospital and United Way Orange County (click HERE), SOS has less than 40 staff members and more than 400 volunteers. To help, click on the SOS button here or, for a greater outreach, the United Way button. For the speech from Vasquez, stay tuned for tomorrow's blog and learn the real meaning of "a child dies from hunger every 5 seconds." Ideas and organizations for fighting poverty and hunger? Write a comment to this blog.

Club Sports vs. Rec Ball

2008-01-21T10:04:00.000-08:00

First, right to the point. Club sports and coaches are NOT better than rec ball (think AYSO and Little League), and certainly not life-changing like a part of a high school team. More and more parents, fearful that their child may fall behind in a sport, are turning to club sports – soccer and volleyball are two that are high on the list. They pay thousands a year for club dues (professional coaches and numerous tournaments) and, for many athletes, they spend the season standing as support staff on a sideline (little or no requirement to play anyone for so many quarters or innings). The Los Angeles Times recently ran a startling story (click HERE) about club sports and how, now that part of the club soccer season overlaps with the high school season, students are forced to make a decision between one or the other. Many families, fearful of "falling behind," choose club sports. There is, for one thing, no affirmation from the student body and, for another, so few athletes receive scholarships, the money spent pays very little dividend. My suggestion, and I'm waiting for your comments, is to do rec ball and high school ball. Enjoy the sport, and take time out for other things in life.

MySpace And Predators

2008-01-16T08:16:00.000-08:00

The social networking site MySpace, which has long been a way for sexual predators to reach out to children, has taken a step to help keep the bad guys out.
As reported in last September’s OC Family and Inland Empire Family magazines (click HERE), state attorney generals a few years ago began mining MySpace in search of predators; North Carolina identified 29,000 last July on the site; MySpace took those names down.
Now, the company has agreed to work with 49 state attorneys to verify the identities and ages of people who use the program. Some 300 million MySpace accounts exist. While the minimum age to open an account is 14, the challenge has always been those adults who pose as teens and lure unsuspecting children. By at least creating the impression that an effort is underway, fewer predators may use MySpace as a lure. “This is an industry-wide challenge and we must all work together to create a safer Internet,” security chief Hemanshu Nigam said in a statement. What is your advice? What has been your experience? Let's start a conversation about Internet predators and the safety of our children. Comment here.

Love In The Air

2008-01-15T11:50:00.000-08:00

The Cover Story for our February issue, "What is Love?," pulls on the heartstrings as children, bless them, tell it exactly as it is. We invite you to read the story in print when the magazine comes out Jan. 31, or read it online at our great website. But, right now, you can watch the video, which we've already posted online (click HERE) and see what the kids have to say. You can also view the slideshow from local schools (for inlandempirefamily.com, go the site and click on "Videos.")
From one of our readers, a poignant tale, called "Love Is." It's a story about family, a bat and the cat that she had to give away "to someone I didn't know. I wondered if they lived in the sun or the snow." She ends with a tribute that would make the greatest writer proud: "I'll love my family as long as I live. That's how you'll know what love is." How can anyone possibly say it better? What is love to you and your children? Write a comment here.

Hillary On Children

2008-01-14T16:21:00.001-08:00

Lost in the mists of photo op after photo op are wise words from Hillary Clinton nearly 3 months ago at a Democratic debate: "A family is a child's first school... We need to do more to help our families prepare their children...We can't just say, go to school longer. We need to do what happened when I was in school and Sputnik went up, and our teacher said, your president wants you to study math and science."
As we continue to use this space to challenge the presidential candidates in our promotion of the American family, we'll continue parsing what they say as the California primary approaches (Feb. 5). How do you believe the American family ought to be shaped in the debate? Let's continue the discussion.

Candidates Spin For Money

2008-01-11T08:42:00.000-08:00

We've requested, on behalf of the more than 1 million families we represent in 3 counties with our Family publications, a response from the presidential candidates on where they stand on supporting families. We asked about families and, from most, have received auto-forms for donations. We're not here to donate, we are here to open the discussion on a subject – so far just about completely buried in the hoopla – that ought to be part of the national agenda. Either the candidates will speak on the matter, or we'll call them out for avoiding the issues. Join the discussion by commenting here on what family-related topics are foremost in your mind, and what the next U.S. president ought to carry with him or her into the White House. (Thanks to candidate Mike Gravel, whose family initiatives include a healthcare certificate to provide basic medical services; extended school hours and days; and a drop of the No Child Left Behind act, which the Democrat, a former U.S. senator, says has failed.)

Democratic Family Values

2008-01-10T09:17:00.000-08:00

Republicans label themselves as the party of family values, but, unless I am missing something, it is appearing more and more like a Democrat will reside soon in the White House. Should that occur, which party is most focused on the American family? Which presidential candidate is best-suited to support the American family is the theme of this blog at least through California's primary, Feb. 5. Which candidate, or which party, do you believe will put families first and foremost, along with the middle-class, which, as we know, is filled with families? Join the discussion.

Family winner is...Obama?

2008-01-09T13:33:00.001-08:00

Comments (see my previous post) are beginning to pour in regarding which candidate is most family-friendly; he/she who best understands the struggle and has concrete ideas for supporting the American family. We've challenged each of the major candidates to comment on this vital issue. While responses pour in, we've found some interesting insights from Barack Obama (click HERE). So far, on our ledger, he is the leading candidate in our category. We'll continue taking the pulse of our readers, as well as supporters and critics, at least through the Feb. 5 California primaries. We welcome your thoughts. Now is the time to speak out.

Obama, Huckabee, or...

2008-01-08T08:45:00.000-08:00

Is there a family-friendly presidential candidate out there? In the millions of words the Republican and Democratic hopefuls have uttered, rarely has the American family been a part of the discussion. It will be now, here. We have contacted the staffs of each major candidate urging them to use this platform as an opportunity to explain their roles and aspirations for parents with children at home – most of whom are defined by the ever-pressured middle-class designation. As we begin our own research, please join the conversation. Which candidate do YOU believe has the American family most at heart, and why? The California primary is Feb. 5.

Sandwich Generation

2008-01-07T15:19:00.000-08:00

"So, we are the Sandwich Generation," said my anguished wife the night of the day that her mom was stricken by a stroke. My wife was back from the hospital, and the talk that she had planned to have with our in-laws during their visit from the Seattle area – "don't you think it's time to sell the home and move down near us?" – had already begun with her mom's collapse. Now, little more than a week later, my father had emergency surgery last night, and the tentacles of age have tightened. The Sandwich Generation is a growing group of parents who are still early into raising young children and find themselves with growing responsibilities to their aging parents. Like 2 pieces of bread. Inside, the peanut butter represents love. But the pressing from the outside means what it feels like. To find the first of our multiple series on the Sandwich Generation, click HERE. Also, to read our entire series, type in "Sandwich Generation" on our handy search engine on ocfamily.com's home page and it will take you to a landing page with all of our back stories. Do you have your own Sandwich Generation story? Let's begin a dialogue.

Stroke: How Nathan Saved Grandma

2008-01-02T07:13:00.000-08:00

Early on a Saturday morning, little Nathan tugged at me; he wanted me awake so we could get the newspaper together. "See if grandma is downstairs," I pleaded with him; I had heard her leave her bedroom some minutes before. Knowing that he would bound loudly down the stairs, and come up the same way if she wasn't there, I listened for his feet. He was back upstairs in a whistle, and we went out the front door. Strange, the paper had been thrown across the street, but ours was not on the driveway. And, our garage door was open. I peered inside and found my mother-in-law crumpled in a corner. She had had a stroke.
In the days that have followed, we learned that finding her quickly – she later told me she had been down about 5 minutes – was absolutely crucial to her potential recovery.
So, more than the helpless look from her eyes into mine, what I remember most is Nathan's loud feet, his insistence that I get out of bed, and that doing so, we may have spared his grandma.
There has been an outpouring of help and calls from friends and family in the past few days. None resonates as much as the one from Molly, who said, "Tell Nathan he is my hero." I told her over the phone, "Here, you tell him yourself."

Why Killings Hurt Us All

2007-12-27T08:11:00.000-08:00

The assassination of former Pakistani Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto arrived this morning, less than 12 hours after one of my 10-year-old twins asked about World War III: "Who would win?" I had answered him, "No one." That is a hard concept for a little boy raised on the logic that there are winners and losers. It's why you play the game. But I tried, patiently, to remind him that the bombs have gotten too big and the people too expendable to have any "winner" the next time. As I posted this, there was still much uncertainty (click HERE). So I shake when news such as this roils an already wary world. I don't have an answer on when the Iraq war will end or, really, when the killing will stop. As a dad, I feel powerless.

It's A Boy(s)

2007-12-26T08:13:00.000-08:00

Before I pass along a small (but big) book, "It's A Boy," to a colleague who is awaiting the birth of her first child (it's a boy!), let me just say, I've survived Christmas with my 3 boys. We have the boy who never wanted Christmas to end, the boy who couldn't wait to be the master of ceremonies for the family get-together, and the boy who grudgingly awoke early (for him, he's a teen) on Christmas Day, because the presents couldn't be opened until he came downstairs. The day unfolded typically (loudly) and if there was a highlight, it was dad's (that's me) inability to completely figure out how to assemble the new basketball hoop. "Easy Assembly!" it says. Well, that doesn't apply either to the hoop, or the boys.

So This Is Christmas

2007-12-24T10:16:00.000-08:00

Woke up this morning and let my 13-year-old sleep in. Mommy was at the gym with her friend and the boy across the street was up in our treehouse whittling with one of our twins. The other was on the computer; grandma and grandpa, here from the Seattle area, were preparing some of the holiday trimmings.
So this is Christmas. Or, at least a small part of it. Each year, they're a little bit older. And, so are we. When I had the twins alone late this morning, we read a book, "A Small Miracle." Then, I took one of them to a small park to catch some baseballs. Tonight, it will be church, and we'll focus on all of the meanings. To you, all of you, a safe holiday.

Babies Coming Your Way

2007-12-20T10:54:00.000-08:00

Orange County’s population in the birth through 9-year-old age groups will increase at a steady pace over the next 42 years, but that population group will explode in Riverside County, according to new data from the state’s Department of Finance, Demographic Research Unit.
As Orange County’s population increases from more than 3.2 million in 2010 to a projected nearly 4 million in 2050, the 0-9 age group will more than double, from about 242,000 children to 533,000.
However, Riverside County reflects an even younger demographic; its population will increase from 2.23 million in 2010 to a projected 4.7 million in 2050. Its 0-9 age group will go from about 344,000 to about 700,000. In San Bernardino County, the population will increase from 2.2 million to a projected 3.7 million, with the 0-9 age group growing from about 336,000 to more than 500,000, with most of its overall growth coming in the retirement years.

Boot Camp for New Dads

2007-12-18T14:48:00.000-08:00

Greg Bishop is founder of Boot Camp for New Dads, an Irvine-based nonprofit that has for nearly 20 years brought the concept of fatherhood to thousands of first-time fathers.
Has he made headway? Of course. Has he made a breakthrough? Bishop would be the first to tell you no.
“Because the whole set of issues is overwhelmed by the interests and needs of mothers, and I would say justifiably so, we just haven’t heard the voice of fathers. We’re creating a small beachhead in this regard. Beyond us, there is not much of an organization that represents this kind of voice. There is a lack of balance in the case of thinking that this new job brings.”
Bishop has written a book, “Hit the Ground Crawling” (click on the title under my Favorite Books section on this home page should you want to buy it) and has another coming out in February or March, “Crash Course For Dads-To-Be.” The new book, he says, “is what they need to know in a very easily absorbed format.”
New dads need to know a lot. They also need the room to be fathers.

Vote for a Mormon President?

2007-12-17T13:27:00.001-08:00

Since families are the most rational of voters – thinking more of the big picture than of political parties, personal bias, or individual gain – it might be best to raise the issue among us that's been raised among others. Does the religious bent of a presidential candidate matter? Mitt Romney is a Mormon and the governor being one has raised the issue to new heights. According to a Gallup Poll released this month, 17% of those polled said they would be unwilling to vote for a Mormon for president. Depending on your perspective, that is a low number, or a significant one. What do families – who have the most riding on choosing well – think? You can respond here.

Christmas for the Troops

2007-12-13T14:16:00.000-08:00

A business colleague, Terry Gniffke, president and CEO of Caliber Media Group in Newport Beach, is a former Marine. And, that's really important. He has launched a website to keep as many of the 800,000 deployed troops as possible connected with their families. The former Vietnam vet knows well the stress of being away from loved ones. Each site needs a sponsor. So, for Christmas, this might be the gift that keeps giving. Click HERE to see how you can help. "It's my passion," says Terry.

OC’s Cross-Country Team

2007-12-12T08:27:00.000-08:00

One of the reasons we named Coach Jerry Palazzo as one of our 10 Heroes in the annual cover story that runs in OC Family and Inland Empire Family magazines each January (he was featured in January 2007) is the way he communicates. Cross country is an intellectual pursuit as much as it is an athletic endeavor. The coach matters. Go to a practice and what you hear, for the most part, is silence. Runners don’t grunt as they prepare; they think as they look at the hill ahead.
Palazzo’s North Tustin-based club team, the Equalizers Track Club, was named the top cross-country youth club in America by DyeStateCal.com after teamwide success a few days ago at the USATF Junior Olympic Cross Country National Championship Meet in Kansas. Runners finished as a Top 5 team in every age division; four of the teams were national champions and 2 were runners-up. Nineteen members were named All-American runners by placing among the top 25 in their division. In the above picture, Equalizers’ Katherine Delaney, right, finishes in a near dead-heat in the Youth Girl division. She was second by .06 of a second.

Generation I

2007-12-11T08:25:00.000-08:00

Video games, computers for the bedroom, and other new technology. What’s a parent to do? How about, be vigilant. A new survey by the Boys & Girls Clubs of America reminds parents about the dangers of new media:
• Some 52.8% of children say their parents have never surfed the Internet with them.
• Some 53.4% of children say their parents never ask who they are talking with online.
• While two-thirds of children say a parent has restricted online access at least to some extent, only 18.1% report that their parents are in the room while they are online.
• Some 20% of children post personal information on social networking sites such as MySpace and Facebook, or to videosharing sites such as YouTube.
About the only encouraging news: Some 81% of those children surveyed say that at least their parents have spoken to them about the dangers of online traffic.
As the nonprofit reports, we are now deep into Generation I, the first generation to grow up with the Internet as an integral part of their everyday life. The Pew Internet & American Life Project reports that 87% of youth ages 12-17 now use the Internet.
This is a crucial discussion point for parents these days. Comment on this subject so we can begin a dialogue.

More on Autism

2007-12-10T10:25:00.000-08:00

A careful reader asked about the autism "quiz" (see my entry, December 7), and how to quantify the answers. As always, bring all information to your doctor. The quiz isn't designed to determine autism, or even its severity, but to give you clues. In terms of our autism story, click HERE to access our website; you will find the Cover Story in our October Archives. Thanks for reading.